"Kody!" (9:23:03 PM): I wanted to know the truth of your books that you write.
DubbleBubble692 (9:23:12 PM): lol.
DubbleBubble692 (9:23:16 PM): and... what did you conclude?
"Kody!" (9:23:41 PM): it is way to damn much and I would have said it in like 7 words.
well, here it is in like 7 words: You are my everything. I Love You.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Accomplishing
That is the word I would use for what today was. I had an old friend, a really old good friend, come over and hang out today. We went out to breakfast with my grandfather at IHOP and I saw two of my good "just-graduated" friends and his mom. After that we watched the bucket list & A series of unfortunate events, as well as played some bad ass super smash bros [and yes, I lost.] It was a long, inspiring day. It made me realize that in life, it does not matter how much time separates two people, some friendships will never be lost. It gives me hope for those who shall not be named that I miss terribly. Today also made me be even more grateful for the relationship i have. More thankful for his presence and the love he reigns over me. I love Kody Jon Peterson, he is an amazing boyfriend. I love Connor William Witt, he is an amazing friend. It proves you can nestle in a shade of gray between everything and nothing.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Yikes
Well life sure does have a funny way of screwing you in the ass. Over the past two months my life has basically turned itself inside out in ever way imaginable. I dont even know where to start.
Well on June 6th, 2008 I turned sweet sixteen. June 7th, 2008 I celebrated it at the palace roller rink with some close friends. I'm not gonna lie, it was the worst birthday ever. Sixteen was anything but sweet at this point.
WORK: Well after turning 16, I officially got my spot on the stock crew and I average about 30 hours a week which is anywhere from $150-$200 a week. [can't complain.] Work is good, im growing close to my co-workers and we are one big family. { Art-Megan-Cristina-Melvin-Davin-Zach-Don-Bridget } apart from Winn-Dixie however, I am now working for the city of NFM doing web design [[nfmcpp.org]] for the NFMCCP/NFMDRP, which is the North Fort Myers community planning panel and design review panel. The pay is great, and It gives me bonding time with my boyfriend. Together we make a great team.
BOYFRIEND?!: Yeah, unbelievable as it may be..Kody and I are back together and have been for a little over a month. Things are going great and its a rare occasion that we fight or have an argument. Its smooth sailing and the love is definitely balanced this time around. 12-11-07 && forever. (:
FAMILY: no no, nothing has changed, im still getting royally fucked up the ass. I hate them, more than anything, and now they are all taking advantage of me and playing me like a game of monopoly.
SCHOOL: class of 2010 baby. school goes back in 24 days and I cant wait, 4th quarter of last year..i totally bombed and went downhill so now i get a fresh start. AP English III, TV Production III, Web Design III, Digital Photography, Precalculus, Anatomy/Phys Honors & American History Honors.
FRIENDS: same old same old. callie and I have prettymuch grown apart though, which sucks but..sometimes..shit happens.
yeah so theres life in two months summed up in one post.
Hopefully im back to blogspot for good.
(:
Well on June 6th, 2008 I turned sweet sixteen. June 7th, 2008 I celebrated it at the palace roller rink with some close friends. I'm not gonna lie, it was the worst birthday ever. Sixteen was anything but sweet at this point.
WORK: Well after turning 16, I officially got my spot on the stock crew and I average about 30 hours a week which is anywhere from $150-$200 a week. [can't complain.] Work is good, im growing close to my co-workers and we are one big family. { Art-Megan-Cristina-Melvin-Davin-Zach-Don-Bridget } apart from Winn-Dixie however, I am now working for the city of NFM doing web design [[nfmcpp.org]] for the NFMCCP/NFMDRP, which is the North Fort Myers community planning panel and design review panel. The pay is great, and It gives me bonding time with my boyfriend. Together we make a great team.
BOYFRIEND?!: Yeah, unbelievable as it may be..Kody and I are back together and have been for a little over a month. Things are going great and its a rare occasion that we fight or have an argument. Its smooth sailing and the love is definitely balanced this time around. 12-11-07 && forever. (:
FAMILY: no no, nothing has changed, im still getting royally fucked up the ass. I hate them, more than anything, and now they are all taking advantage of me and playing me like a game of monopoly.
SCHOOL: class of 2010 baby. school goes back in 24 days and I cant wait, 4th quarter of last year..i totally bombed and went downhill so now i get a fresh start. AP English III, TV Production III, Web Design III, Digital Photography, Precalculus, Anatomy/Phys Honors & American History Honors.
FRIENDS: same old same old. callie and I have prettymuch grown apart though, which sucks but..sometimes..shit happens.
yeah so theres life in two months summed up in one post.
Hopefully im back to blogspot for good.
(:
Saturday, May 17, 2008
OKAY
Kody broke up with me on Friday May 9th. anything said in the blog posts before this one is true. I don't take any of it back nor do I regret any of it. I refuse to delete anything. thanks.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Lost & Forgotten
Yes I know, it's been too long, I agree. Life has been thrown at me from a million different direction and I've finally fallen apart. April seemed never-ending and I thought may would be new, exciting, loving and refreshing but so far its turned out to be D. none of the above. Lets start with school. I feel behind by ages when really I have only missed one day in the past two months. Nothing seems to make sense and I don't even have passion for my web design and broadcasting classes, the reasons I once only woke up for. I give up. I just don't seem to care anymore, and I'm scared to the reasoning. School only contains five more weeks, and then maybe a release from this teenager-hell.
Family comes next. Most days are simply UNBEARABLE. Now my mother is home, for the first time in years...and it's just different. I will never get used to it, for attachment and loss is something my body and my heart cannot take.
Kody. I love this boy, with everything in me. There are nights where I will scream my guts out into my pillow, cry until it hurts and mentally abuse myself because I can't stand how I feel. I told myself I would NEVER let myself feel this way about ANYONE. But I can't help it. The way he acts, the way he is, just walking by me, he takes my breath away. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in this entire fucking world and to lose him would to be losing the world. Lately he has been back and forth with his feelings and on a flower-level; he loves me, he loves me not. I hope what he says is true. I hope I can believe everything that comes out of his amazing lips. I love him, :( I do..and it's killing me inside. I wish there was a way to tell him how I really feel.....without losing him. <33
On another bad note; I have a recently diagnosed case of mersa in my foot. [toe to be specific], right foot, big toe. Tuesday May 6th I have to go to a podiatrist for "surgery" which includes 3028627190 shots and cutting, then depending on the severety, I might be put on an IV in cape coral hospital for three days. Nonetheless, No school except Monday next week [until further notice] I'm trying to look on the bright side (i still have 9) if they cut it. Or maybe even a miraculous thing will happen and no IV, no surgery? (well maybe no IV...lets be practical)
I just want to force my fingers through my hair and pull until I scream, scream until I cry, and cry until i hurt, about life in general. my life is at a never-ending plummet. Please, someone out there who cares, catch me before its too late. I will try to start blogging again...seeings as I don't really have a life anymore. When things finally start to seem as amazing as they are, thats when they decline, and they don't come back.
until then ~
Family comes next. Most days are simply UNBEARABLE. Now my mother is home, for the first time in years...and it's just different. I will never get used to it, for attachment and loss is something my body and my heart cannot take.
Kody. I love this boy, with everything in me. There are nights where I will scream my guts out into my pillow, cry until it hurts and mentally abuse myself because I can't stand how I feel. I told myself I would NEVER let myself feel this way about ANYONE. But I can't help it. The way he acts, the way he is, just walking by me, he takes my breath away. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in this entire fucking world and to lose him would to be losing the world. Lately he has been back and forth with his feelings and on a flower-level; he loves me, he loves me not. I hope what he says is true. I hope I can believe everything that comes out of his amazing lips. I love him, :( I do..and it's killing me inside. I wish there was a way to tell him how I really feel.....without losing him. <33
On another bad note; I have a recently diagnosed case of mersa in my foot. [toe to be specific], right foot, big toe. Tuesday May 6th I have to go to a podiatrist for "surgery" which includes 3028627190 shots and cutting, then depending on the severety, I might be put on an IV in cape coral hospital for three days. Nonetheless, No school except Monday next week [until further notice] I'm trying to look on the bright side (i still have 9) if they cut it. Or maybe even a miraculous thing will happen and no IV, no surgery? (well maybe no IV...lets be practical)
I just want to force my fingers through my hair and pull until I scream, scream until I cry, and cry until i hurt, about life in general. my life is at a never-ending plummet. Please, someone out there who cares, catch me before its too late. I will try to start blogging again...seeings as I don't really have a life anymore. When things finally start to seem as amazing as they are, thats when they decline, and they don't come back.
until then ~
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