AP English

So school is coming back soon, and I really CANT wait much longer. However, I DO have an AP English III summer reading assignment that is ALSO due when school comes back. this is going to be my only way to get it done on time so here goes. Disregard my planning and deadlines, but maybe if I do it this way, I'll get somewhere. Don't preach to me until you've actually read these two amazingly boring books.

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
SUNDAY JULY 27 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 1-10
TUESDAY JULY 29 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 11-16
THURSDAY JULY 31 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 17-21

Beloved
SATURDAY AUGUST 2 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 1-10
MONDAY AUGUST 4 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 11-17
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 6 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 18-23
FRIDAY AUGUST 8 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 24-28

SUNDAY AUGUST 10 - FINISHED ESSAY & PRINT. PRINT FINISHED JOURNALS.

SCHOOL GOES BACK AUGUST 18TH!!! :D

Lost & Forgotten

Yes I know, it's been too long, I agree. Life has been thrown at me from a million different direction and I've finally fallen apart. April seemed never-ending and I thought may would be new, exciting, loving and refreshing but so far its turned out to be D. none of the above. Lets start with school. I feel behind by ages when really I have only missed one day in the past two months. Nothing seems to make sense and I don't even have passion for my web design and broadcasting classes, the reasons I once only woke up for. I give up. I just don't seem to care anymore, and I'm scared to the reasoning. School only contains five more weeks, and then maybe a release from this teenager-hell.

Family comes next. Most days are simply UNBEARABLE. Now my mother is home, for the first time in years...and it's just different. I will never get used to it, for attachment and loss is something my body and my heart cannot take.

Kody. I love this boy, with everything in me. There are nights where I will scream my guts out into my pillow, cry until it hurts and mentally abuse myself because I can't stand how I feel. I told myself I would NEVER let myself feel this way about ANYONE. But I can't help it. The way he acts, the way he is, just walking by me, he takes my breath away. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in this entire fucking world and to lose him would to be losing the world. Lately he has been back and forth with his feelings and on a flower-level; he loves me, he loves me not. I hope what he says is true. I hope I can believe everything that comes out of his amazing lips. I love him, :( I do..and it's killing me inside. I wish there was a way to tell him how I really feel.....without losing him. <33

On another bad note; I have a recently diagnosed case of mersa in my foot. [toe to be specific], right foot, big toe. Tuesday May 6th I have to go to a podiatrist for "surgery" which includes 3028627190 shots and cutting, then depending on the severety, I might be put on an IV in cape coral hospital for three days. Nonetheless, No school except Monday next week [until further notice] I'm trying to look on the bright side (i still have 9) if they cut it. Or maybe even a miraculous thing will happen and no IV, no surgery? (well maybe no IV...lets be practical)

I just want to force my fingers through my hair and pull until I scream, scream until I cry, and cry until i hurt, about life in general. my life is at a never-ending plummet. Please, someone out there who cares, catch me before its too late. I will try to start blogging again...seeings as I don't really have a life anymore. When things finally start to seem as amazing as they are, thats when they decline, and they don't come back.

until then ~

Lenient

is most definitely what I have been on my blogging. Not a single one in almost a week, but I have a valid excuse for sure. School has been keeping me occupied and a half. Ive gotten a lot of work done this week and my attention has stayed with my schoolwork. In a nutshell, its been a G R E A T week, not really one thing to seriously complain about. Tomorrow, Friday April 11th will be four loving months with Kody, and I'm suuper excited. No blogging tomorrow because after school I'm headed his way for the night, were going out to see 21 at AMC and im sure it will be as amazing as he is. Saturday looking promising for another blog, stay tuned.

Promenade

aka Prom, is tomorrow. There is no more attempting to restrain times never ending hands. I want it to be magical. I want that passion to rise up again. I want to feel complete, overwhelming happiness. Why am I already feeling disappointed...

"everything will be just fine." I have to keep telling myself that. Today, Friday, was decent. Not as amazing as I proclaimed I wanted it to be, but it will do. I can do this. C'mon Megan, pull yourself together and do this, make it through the night. Re-unite the love you've lost.

A Friend

a supremely wise friend, once gave me great advice. "Relying on other people only makes us weaker." I couldn't agree more, too bad I waited to late to agree. Today was blah, too many substitutes to count. Didn't really do much of anything. No homework. I couldn't really ask for much more. I assuringly already ask for the world. Tonight I'll be at school basically all night. Leaving here at 6:00 and wont be home until almost 10:00. My mind is in a thousand different places currently and concentration is almost impossible. I just, I hurt so bad inside. Its one thing to make yourself emotionless, but numb is a deathly-scary emotion to feel. I am excited for prom, or am I, anymore? I know I am. I am in love with Kody, or am I, anymore? I know I am. I am dreading my due dates, or am I, anymore? I KNOW I am. Life is just so complicated, lets hit the pause button and relax for a bit; or maybe rewind and re-live the good days. Regardless of the button pressed, life will happen sooner or later, lets just suck it up, stiffen up our upper lips, and hold our heads high towards the heavens.

"How can you trust others, when you don't trust yourself."

Start

of the week, looks promising. (: Today was pretty easy, not one class was too difficult. I will have a bunch of substitutes tomorrow because of the Jr. Class arena scheduling. I had another Doctors appointment today, my infection is gone, the skin is just inflamed, so thats good news for me. No real homework tonight, except working on the never-ending list of research papers due the second and third weeks of April. Tomorrow, Second period - in the computer lab, If I don't say it here, I will definitely forget. Oh, for my daily dosage of Kody in my bloggage, I loveee that boy. End of story.

Wednesday

brings happiness and dread. this small 4x2 piece of decorative card stock holds the key to my status for the next two weeks, and hopefully a re-unison of passion will occur that will cause a landslide of a 360 to happen. Until then, time will only tell.

Algebra II chapter 7 test today, will go on my quarter three report card -rolls eyes-, im a point away from a C, and if she doesn't bump me up, im going to have a conniption. I think i did decent, at least a 50%. Also had a quarter test in Spanish II, Thought i did more than fairly well. My third and final test in World History is tomorrow. No homework tonight, just going to sit back and take it easy.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, although I cant really complain about today. Thursday, last day of the week and the start of a 4-day weekend due to a large fluffy mammal that goes around hopping with baskets of dyed eggs and chocolates. for those of you who must have it direct, easter. No plans tomorrow night, getting a jump start on my projects. Friday I'm going to Kodys basically all day. Saturday work 11-6 and no plans afterwards, going to take an early 8-3 shift on Sunday then go to Kody's again. Monday I will hopefully be hanging out with primeypants because its his birthday. (Maybe convince him to buy wedge shoes for prom, and pitch in for his dates ticket? <3 lol)

But anywho, busy busy the next couple of days. I pray everything goes smooth, karma FINALLY left me alone. Maybe I can sleep easy now.

Inventory

at Winn-Dixie on Wednesday, so therefore every item in the entire back room must be accounted for. Greatttt, so im covered in sticky-residue from the masking tape and stray permanent marker litters my hands, arms and work uniform. Kody and I are good, no worries there...the arguments and such have ceased, and I couldn't be happier. I loveee that boy. Monday is tomorrow, the most dreaded day of the week, starting a normal schools schedule and for my lack of presence Friday, I have a lot to make up. Although it is a four-day week so I can grin and bear it. Tonight, simple, staying in...messing around on the copy, nothing unusual or exciting.

School

Today? No thanks. I actually overslept as well as everyone else in the house so by the time im up its 8:00 and to get ready and out of here would be another hour or so. Therefore my grandpa just said screw it, stay home. After a week of FCAT, it sounded good to me. I stayed in bed until 10:00 then we went to run all my errands. Got shoes for prom, and booked my appointments. Getting all my plans down on paper so I don't forget anything. Its been an easy-peasy day and I can't complain. Well I guess I can, I didn't get to see Kody today, but we are going out tomorrow night to see 10,000 BC, so its okay. I love that boy so much, its ridiculous. Tonight I plan on getting everything done, homework and such. Until then ~

Whoa

take a step back and look at yourself. What have you done. You hear crickets off in the distance, for merely nothing you have actually done. (: FCAT is O-V-E-R!!! It is so exciting, like you don't even know. School today was great. National Geographic has a WHOLE new meaning and Brounson is going to adopt, because he finally realized he doesn't have a baby. Mr. Brounson is oddly enough the closest thing to a father-figure in my life. But not in a weird way, assured. Today, doing a load of laundry and thats it, no thanks on anything else. Had Mcdonalds [told primetime I would, but he denied my skills] and were having Long John sloppy fish for dinner. I can eat what I want, because I can't try out for the cheer leading team because my grandparents are irrational. Things right now, in my life, are at a standstill, they are neutral. I wont utter a single complaint either because things could take a turn for the worse, but some people in my life wouldn't let that happen<3

Payday

Oh what a joy, every Tuesday of the week seems to be another paycheck disappointment. Roughly sixty this week, but $25.00 of it goes towards prom transportation. Had to pay my grandparents back and buy stuff for dinner, I'm left with four dollars. I am slowly getting things paid off. I need $100.00 for Kody's parents, and $100.00 for the rest of my prom expenses. With three paychecks left before prom, It is going to be tight. No more silly expenses for the next month.

FCAT kickoff today, was the writing portion. Honestly, no biggie, it was fairly easy. Tomorrow is the math, and my brain will be F R I E D afterwards. Then after school its the last Wednesday at church with Kody and the family. Not too sad, because I can still go to his house on Wednesdays as long as I keep the church-ending on the down low. theres always going to be an equal balance of good and bad this week. Except Thursday, NRT math and reading in one day, then nothing. Friday I am planning on going to Ginaaaaas then Saturday after work I will be going out with Kody to see 10,000 BC. [Hopefully it will be better than Be Kind Rewind.] He is a great driver, and it is such an unexplainable feeling to be sitting in the passengers seat with him to my left. It is a sense of security, maturity, and freedom. No worries.

His parents are absolutely the best. I feel like they really trust us, and that is such a great feeling. I'm a good kid, I always have been and yet nobody has ever given me trust due to my age and "hormones", but nobody cares to realize im not stupid. I make my own decisions, and wise ones at that. I am so lucky to have him, and his parents as well, its nice to know someone cares. (: I loveee that boy.

Wednesday = best day of the week, so I want to go to sleep, like now.

Monday

Wasn't as marvelous as it could have been. But no day this week can be as bad as tomorrow. Its the kickoff for the most important series of tests I will take to this day. FCAT reading tomorrow, then FCAT math on Wednesday, then NRT reading and math on Thursday. Friday is one of those do-nothing days so it will be a great end to a week. Wednesday is an even medium, last Wednesday at church with Kody, (but my grandparents don't know that), so if i keep it on the down low I might be able to keep seeing him on Wednesdays. Things are looking hopeful and I am trying to be as optimistic as possible in the weeks to come. Tomorrow, March 11th, is the three month mark for my amazingly wonderful boyfriend and I. The best three months of my life, and a month from now, it will be four. Not only four, but by this time, prom would have passed and I know it will be an unforgettable night.

Monday

morning, sun is shining. That it is, no more cold weather -does a dance- and no more Winn-Dixie, for six days that is. So school today was bleh, I really miss Primetime a lot. I wish he would a) stop being sick and b) stop getting everyone else sick. Easy-come, easy-go day. Favorite day of the week, yet least favorite week of the month. Put one and two together, and as of tomorrow I won't feel up to doing anything. What can you do, it's that time of month again, unfortunately. Today and Tonight should go pretty smooth. Algebra II homework, a response paper for English and I really should finish my Spanish project. Shower, dinner and bed. The works.

Thrilling

Thursday. I think the hell not. So I assume I had woken up at 5:00am as the annoying sound of my phone alarm chimed in my ears. I got up, peed and went back into my warm sea of blankets. Great, now I'm woken up for a second time by my grandparents frantic annoying voices that are absolutley piercing. whats worse is they were telling me it was "6:10 am", the time I'm normally doing some last minute primping the bathroom; and there I was, death warmed over in my bed. I thought about not going but today was going to be such a filled and busy day I seriously couldn't miss it. I almost blew a cap second period, tomorrow I'm giving this little skank a piece of my mind and hopefully not more than that... but she needs to learn to keep her hands off of MY Boyfriend Fiance. Husband. So with that off my chest...

We had a test sixth period and I really scrambled at the last minute to get all of my unit-work together but I managed everything just on time and I presume I did fairly well on the test. Then I had to stay after school to take a test in Algebra II I had missed from Tuesday when I called it quits and slept until noon. I BSed it, and I will be happy with a 60ish. My friend Natalia came over and we watched American Pie: Beta House, then ate an amazing dinner that I can relive tomorrow for lunch, only slightly aged.

The agenda for tonight? Some minor math homework, 13 problems, and some history homework as well. should only take a total of an hour, so until 8 I'm going to put it off. Friday tomorrow, already, I'm excited... and then I can get unexcited tomorrow afternoon because Saturday morning brings a hectic-ness filled with waking up at 6am to retrieve my altered/tailored prom dress, then rush to my house and get ready for work, and a 75% chance that I will be at Kody's afterwards. Eh life is busy right now, but I can handle it. I'm Megan, this is my blog...and a daily reminder, that I love Kody. (:

Wednesday

really...? already...? Well isn't this just bliss. I feel like the past three days have swept me off my own two feet and I have gotten nothing accomplished, so to speak. So its two thirty-six post meridian and where do I fall?

Chamber of Commerce Website
Spanish Powerpoint Presentation
Chemistry Mole Conversions WKSHT
Chemistry Review WKSHT
Chemistry Index Card
World History 2/26 & 2/27

I have a test tomorrow 6th period in (take a guess from above) Chemistry honors. I'm pretty confident that it'll get a B+ ~ A. Somewhere in there. Then I have to stay after school to make up an algebra quiz that I'll be lucky if I get a 60 on. So tomorrow looks fun and full of learning. Somebody please, gag me with a spoon.

Today however, on a brighter note, was actually quite pleasant. Kody almost ruined it for me and tried to play the "I don't feel well I am not going to school" trick when curiosity kicked in at 7:01 regarding his presence upstairs in M203 M201 with the rest of us. Today would have been a waste without him (: but he was there, jokes on me. I love that boyyyyy.

There are some people I just couldn't live without, including Kody the list also consists of Prime, Shay, Gina, Michelle, Zach & Amanda. They complete me.

Off to my massive pile of knowledge

Yikes

No school, no thank you. I'm sickerr than I was! Just, when I thought I was getting better too. So I'm going to do all my homework now, get it out of the way, wait for my lovesss to get home. Today blows, but it IS paycheck day -dances-, so add "going to winn-dixie" on my list of to-do things.

School

Monday, actually is my favorite day of the week. Its a refresh from an either really-good or really-bad weekend and it gives you the opportunity to set new goals for yourself as well as see some faces you probably haven't in the last 48 hours. (aka Kody's♥) Despite being sick and having to wake up at 5:00 AM, the day wasn't too bad. Yeah some people got under my skin a tad bit but people will be people. Ready to go through a rundown of the school-day?

Okay, we should start with first period, which is web design, which in all reality we shouldnt start with because im still not technically awake. Anywho, chamber of commerce website, definitly buggin the crud out of me. Even if I do finish it, Kody's website blows mine out of the ballpark. Second period, television production, favorite class of the day. Favorite teacher ever. Any who, I got a 411 on how to use Adobe Encore and it seems like a really cool program. Third we had a sub so I went back to tv pro to hang out. Fourth and fifth are dumb, English II honors and algebra II honors... lets precede to my big accomplishment of the day:
*cue accomplishment music*

sixth period, chemistry honors. we have approximately 40 minutes to do a "pop-lab" kinda like a pop quiz but in a lab-doing form. It was ridiculously hard and my partner, Michelle and I KNEW we wouldn't finish.. but (dun dun dun!) I got all the calculations done and then we just had to rush to put our chemical formulas in our cups. Yeah trying to get 43.6 of a substance with a non-steady hand is nervewracking but eh, I got it under control. We finished with about 30 seconds to spare, but when that A glimmers oh-so brightly on my grades paycheck this Friday, I won't be complaining.

Mmkay I think my day ends there. My day ends when my brain lets me know its done. We started something stupid in 7th period, World history honors, with Jews and Christians, and the homework assignment is irrational... just plain bogus.

Daniel (aka prime, primetime, primey, primeypants, primetime mcsexy pants, sexy pants) is the coolest bestfriend ever. I'm glad hes in my life (:

DubbleBubble692 (6:32:42 PM): any feedback?
Primetime (6:32:59 PM): not really
Primetime (6:33:04 PM): put more me in there

Homework is in my near future.
-Spanish Worksheet
-Algebra Review
-History Questions

and just a daily reminder, Megan lovessss Kody to the moon and back.
(a couple times.)

Semi-Sick Sunday

And unfortunately, it continues. Sick sick sick still. Sunday, looks good though. I didn't go to work today, and I'm highly ecstatic. School tomorrow, and I get to see Kodyyyyyy -does a dance-. Seriously, weekends are dreadful when he isn't in them. I guess ima stay in today and finish up some homework. I am starting to think the massive pile never ends. Algebra and English, but most certainly NOT in that order.

I loveeee that boy. And I love getting out of work. I wish I was sick more often. No fever, no coughing/puking. Really the only thing now is my throat is swollen. So that means it doesn't really interfere with anything. On to homework....

People

The human mind works in mysterious ways, and the question lingering on my mind is WHY can we just all get along? To merely think that a friend and I had a conversation regarding the opposite of the matter this morning... looks like at this point there is no going back. I feel like this used to be my favorite class, that if I was going to really drag myself out of bed at 5:00 in the morning, this was my reason; now I have more than a few doubts. The past three weeks from 8:00-9:00 I feel as though I'm in hell and honestly, if you can't take the heat...get out of the oven, I'm getting the feeling I should just stay away from the entire kitchen. Its tough when a group of people you truly care about turn backs on each other. Some people need to get over themselves, is it jealousy? Or maybe some of us need to go repeat the third grade. For now, I'm stepping out of it, wiping my hands of it, and going to digest it piece-by-piece.