Unfuckingbelievable.

I thought i had something real this time. A real friendship. a bond. an understanding. someone to keep you company at all hours of the night. I was wrong. I always have said age is but a number, and never assumed it could pull two people to polar opposites. Someone who I considered different, is in actuality, worse than your average. But I do understand, don't get me wrong. Just also understand that I won't want to waste another second worrying about a person that pushes me aside to to such a minority.

On another note, Tuesday and Wednesday will be productive. I get two days off, so -does happy dance- that means more time to me. Well not really. More to my AP project that's due in 19 days. Nonetheless I will get it done, I have to.

On the boyfriend note, yeah we had a little dispute last night..nothing major. I have come to realize that just because he doesn't say 'i love you too' it is the end of the world. I know how he feels. I have to let things like that go, because when it boils down to it...its just so minor. I love him, and I know nothing like that can come in between our love.

So Today, my friend Adam came over and we chilled for a while. It was refreshing, I haven't seen him in a while and we had a lot to talk about. I went and got my pathetic Winn-Dixie check and then made a trip to the bank and then Burger King. Later im taking my brother up to Dairy Queen to meet our dad and step-mom for some sweet stuff.

Afterward? AP AP AP. && Maybe I'll get to talk with the boyfrann if i have time.
<3

With Love

The 10-Year Plan

Alright, its late on a Saturday night and so I have decided to jot down some MAJOR things I plan to accomplish within the next 10 years. Keep in mind this would put me at the age of 26. No particular order, just off the top of my head.

1. Graduate high school
2. Get Into college
3. Graduate college with a decent degree
4. Get a bellybutton piercing
5. Get a tattoo
6. Take a trip to France
7. Get married
8. Witness a miracle
9. Lay in bed all day with a great guy
10. Be a manager of some company
11. Find my overall goal in life
12. Have my own house and car
13. Have a large bank account
14. Get braces
15. Have laser hair removal
16. See Niagara Falls with someone I love
17. Find the happiness I've always dreamed of.

Barbaric

So a bunch of shit has happened today. My mom is officially throw out of the house. My grandparents are ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. My mother is 35 years old and obviously is still being treated as if shes fifteen. After screwing up the past 20 years of her life, starting with having me, she is actually trying to be straight. SO WHAT if she wants to go spend a week with her friend, whom lives MAYBE eight miles away. Its her life, obviously she is going to make her own decisions.

She comes here EVERY other day to clean the house and check in on us. That is more than she has ever done before, and honestly, it takes A LOT of responsibility off of me. I don't know why my grandparents insist upon having her up their asses 24/7 when all they do is scream at her and put her down.

So now they have stirred a bunch of shit up, and it looks like she finally told them off. I was gladly informed im not allowed to have any contact with her, what so ever and if they find out I do, im in serious trouble. Like stealing candy from a baby trouble.

And what am I told next? "Looks like you have to pick up the slack."

OH SURE, NO PROBLEM. LET ME GO TO SCHOOL 5 DAYS A WEEK TAKING A FULL HONORS AND AP SCHEDULE. WORK 6 DAYS A WEEK AT WINN-DIXIE AND STRESS MY BODY TO ITS MAX, WEB DESIGN ON THE SIDE FOR NFMCPP/NFMDRP, FLVS COURSES, DATE KODY, OH AND DID I MENTION IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A SIXTEENTH-OF A SOCIAL LIFE?

THIS IS BULLSHIT.

AP English

So school is coming back soon, and I really CANT wait much longer. However, I DO have an AP English III summer reading assignment that is ALSO due when school comes back. this is going to be my only way to get it done on time so here goes. Disregard my planning and deadlines, but maybe if I do it this way, I'll get somewhere. Don't preach to me until you've actually read these two amazingly boring books.

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
SUNDAY JULY 27 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 1-10
TUESDAY JULY 29 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 11-16
THURSDAY JULY 31 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 17-21

Beloved
SATURDAY AUGUST 2 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 1-10
MONDAY AUGUST 4 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 11-17
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 6 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 18-23
FRIDAY AUGUST 8 - FINISHED CHAPTERS 24-28

SUNDAY AUGUST 10 - FINISHED ESSAY & PRINT. PRINT FINISHED JOURNALS.

SCHOOL GOES BACK AUGUST 18TH!!! :D

Words of Wisdom

"Kody!" (9:23:03 PM): I wanted to know the truth of your books that you write.
DubbleBubble692 (9:23:12 PM): lol.
DubbleBubble692 (9:23:16 PM): and... what did you conclude?
"Kody!" (9:23:41 PM): it is way to damn much and I would have said it in like 7 words.

well, here it is in like 7 words: You are my everything. I Love You.

Accomplishing

That is the word I would use for what today was. I had an old friend, a really old good friend, come over and hang out today. We went out to breakfast with my grandfather at IHOP and I saw two of my good "just-graduated" friends and his mom. After that we watched the bucket list & A series of unfortunate events, as well as played some bad ass super smash bros [and yes, I lost.] It was a long, inspiring day. It made me realize that in life, it does not matter how much time separates two people, some friendships will never be lost. It gives me hope for those who shall not be named that I miss terribly. Today also made me be even more grateful for the relationship i have. More thankful for his presence and the love he reigns over me. I love Kody Jon Peterson, he is an amazing boyfriend. I love Connor William Witt, he is an amazing friend. It proves you can nestle in a shade of gray between everything and nothing.

Yikes

Well life sure does have a funny way of screwing you in the ass. Over the past two months my life has basically turned itself inside out in ever way imaginable. I dont even know where to start.

Well on June 6th, 2008 I turned sweet sixteen. June 7th, 2008 I celebrated it at the palace roller rink with some close friends. I'm not gonna lie, it was the worst birthday ever. Sixteen was anything but sweet at this point.

WORK: Well after turning 16, I officially got my spot on the stock crew and I average about 30 hours a week which is anywhere from $150-$200 a week. [can't complain.] Work is good, im growing close to my co-workers and we are one big family. { Art-Megan-Cristina-Melvin-Davin-Zach-Don-Bridget } apart from Winn-Dixie however, I am now working for the city of NFM doing web design [[nfmcpp.org]] for the NFMCCP/NFMDRP, which is the North Fort Myers community planning panel and design review panel. The pay is great, and It gives me bonding time with my boyfriend. Together we make a great team.

BOYFRIEND?!: Yeah, unbelievable as it may be..Kody and I are back together and have been for a little over a month. Things are going great and its a rare occasion that we fight or have an argument. Its smooth sailing and the love is definitely balanced this time around. 12-11-07 && forever. (:

FAMILY: no no, nothing has changed, im still getting royally fucked up the ass. I hate them, more than anything, and now they are all taking advantage of me and playing me like a game of monopoly.

SCHOOL: class of 2010 baby. school goes back in 24 days and I cant wait, 4th quarter of last year..i totally bombed and went downhill so now i get a fresh start. AP English III, TV Production III, Web Design III, Digital Photography, Precalculus, Anatomy/Phys Honors & American History Honors.

FRIENDS: same old same old. callie and I have prettymuch grown apart though, which sucks but..sometimes..shit happens.

yeah so theres life in two months summed up in one post.
Hopefully im back to blogspot for good.
(:

OKAY

Kody broke up with me on Friday May 9th. anything said in the blog posts before this one is true. I don't take any of it back nor do I regret any of it. I refuse to delete anything. thanks.

Lost & Forgotten

Yes I know, it's been too long, I agree. Life has been thrown at me from a million different direction and I've finally fallen apart. April seemed never-ending and I thought may would be new, exciting, loving and refreshing but so far its turned out to be D. none of the above. Lets start with school. I feel behind by ages when really I have only missed one day in the past two months. Nothing seems to make sense and I don't even have passion for my web design and broadcasting classes, the reasons I once only woke up for. I give up. I just don't seem to care anymore, and I'm scared to the reasoning. School only contains five more weeks, and then maybe a release from this teenager-hell.

Family comes next. Most days are simply UNBEARABLE. Now my mother is home, for the first time in years...and it's just different. I will never get used to it, for attachment and loss is something my body and my heart cannot take.

Kody. I love this boy, with everything in me. There are nights where I will scream my guts out into my pillow, cry until it hurts and mentally abuse myself because I can't stand how I feel. I told myself I would NEVER let myself feel this way about ANYONE. But I can't help it. The way he acts, the way he is, just walking by me, he takes my breath away. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in this entire fucking world and to lose him would to be losing the world. Lately he has been back and forth with his feelings and on a flower-level; he loves me, he loves me not. I hope what he says is true. I hope I can believe everything that comes out of his amazing lips. I love him, :( I do..and it's killing me inside. I wish there was a way to tell him how I really feel.....without losing him. <33

On another bad note; I have a recently diagnosed case of mersa in my foot. [toe to be specific], right foot, big toe. Tuesday May 6th I have to go to a podiatrist for "surgery" which includes 3028627190 shots and cutting, then depending on the severety, I might be put on an IV in cape coral hospital for three days. Nonetheless, No school except Monday next week [until further notice] I'm trying to look on the bright side (i still have 9) if they cut it. Or maybe even a miraculous thing will happen and no IV, no surgery? (well maybe no IV...lets be practical)

I just want to force my fingers through my hair and pull until I scream, scream until I cry, and cry until i hurt, about life in general. my life is at a never-ending plummet. Please, someone out there who cares, catch me before its too late. I will try to start blogging again...seeings as I don't really have a life anymore. When things finally start to seem as amazing as they are, thats when they decline, and they don't come back.

until then ~

Yikes

don't kill me, i know. It has been way too long without a blog. what can I say. my amazing grounded-until-today spring break has kept me super busy. Sunday at work was great, I was super tired afterwards though, and came home to crash. Monday I got my ENTIRE 10-page World History Honors "The Communist Manifesto" paper completed. Such a relief, because that was my big worry over break. Tuesday I lounged, laundry-ed and did my math homework and today I plan on doing my English research paper and taking a nice long shower.

Thursday and Friday will be greattt! Going to Kodys back-to-back to hang out on Thursday and see a movie on Friday. [Although my little Kodykins is absolutely dreading seeing prom night] So all should go well for then, and back to work Saturday and Sunday on a regular 11-6 binge.

I've been playing http://www.pogo.com ALOT over break. It keeps your brain semi-thinking and there are a ton of fun and free games to play. So maybe take a peek at that if your bored or have nothing to do on a Friday night [or in my case, Wednesday afternoon].

Monday, im dreading. So long pajamas, sleeping until noon and putting my brain to better use.
Until then~ (oh and I promise I'll try to blog more)

I Know

its Saturday, but I got home late last night. It didn't go as planned at ALL. having a peaceful dinner followed by Kody and I driving to AMC to see 21 turned into a Dinner brawl, and Kody's mom driving us to-and-from Marquee Cinemas to see Superhero Movie. Honestly though, it was amazing. Any time I get to spend with that boy means more to me then what we are doing or where we are doing it at. Happy four months to us [12-11-07 ~ 04-11-08] and as Kody says "162 more to go." It worried me too, so I asked and he replied "I don't know, its a lot of months :)." Well 162 sounds good to me and then we will take it from there. I love him, with everything in my being. <3

SPRING BREAK 2008 BBY :D too bad im grounded until Wednesday. Then Thursday I will probably go to Kodys, then Saturday too. Not really sure, but I know I want to see him. I have three research papers to write and a bunch of stuff to get off my plate academically. I can do it, I got one week. We will see how it goes...

Today, however, I have work in exactly an hour and don't get off until 6:00PM. Don't expect another blog today or tonight but tomorrow, we can Just say -I owe you one-

Lenient

is most definitely what I have been on my blogging. Not a single one in almost a week, but I have a valid excuse for sure. School has been keeping me occupied and a half. Ive gotten a lot of work done this week and my attention has stayed with my schoolwork. In a nutshell, its been a G R E A T week, not really one thing to seriously complain about. Tomorrow, Friday April 11th will be four loving months with Kody, and I'm suuper excited. No blogging tomorrow because after school I'm headed his way for the night, were going out to see 21 at AMC and im sure it will be as amazing as he is. Saturday looking promising for another blog, stay tuned.

Prom 2008

Was unbelievably amazing. Getting up at 6:00 am was completely insignificant. From taking my first glance at Kody in his tuxedo to my last at him sweaty, hot, exhausted and half asleep....I was just amazed. The limo was great, dinner was the best meal I've ever eaten and the limo driver was supremely nice. At prom, I was escorted in by Kody, who was being an absolute gentleman, and then things got amazingly out of hand. We were all hitting the dance floor like there was no tomorrow. I got more than close-for-comfort with Amanda [more than once too] and her boyfriend Branden fit right in, and im glad. My boyfriend kissed him on the cheek and it was to-die-for hilarious. Then Branden kisses Kep and they just kept passing it on. To get a real feel of how out-of-hand it was, Zach grabbed prime times butt, while primetime was getting spooned big time by Rachel. I love Kody, with everything in me. The slow dances last night almost killed me, but I held him in my arms tight and knew this was real, that he wasn't going anywhere. That he really did, love me.

Promenade

aka Prom, is tomorrow. There is no more attempting to restrain times never ending hands. I want it to be magical. I want that passion to rise up again. I want to feel complete, overwhelming happiness. Why am I already feeling disappointed...

"everything will be just fine." I have to keep telling myself that. Today, Friday, was decent. Not as amazing as I proclaimed I wanted it to be, but it will do. I can do this. C'mon Megan, pull yourself together and do this, make it through the night. Re-unite the love you've lost.

I'm Determined

to make Friday, April 4th and Saturday, April 5th, amazing. I will hold my head high and be strong. I will know that despite everything, somewhere inside, I know the truth. Every little thing will be fine. Its like being on death row and knowing when your sentence is up...

Words

cannot describe how im feeling, so blogging right now is pretty much pointless. The outcome of my next two days is completely undetermined.

A Friend

a supremely wise friend, once gave me great advice. "Relying on other people only makes us weaker." I couldn't agree more, too bad I waited to late to agree. Today was blah, too many substitutes to count. Didn't really do much of anything. No homework. I couldn't really ask for much more. I assuringly already ask for the world. Tonight I'll be at school basically all night. Leaving here at 6:00 and wont be home until almost 10:00. My mind is in a thousand different places currently and concentration is almost impossible. I just, I hurt so bad inside. Its one thing to make yourself emotionless, but numb is a deathly-scary emotion to feel. I am excited for prom, or am I, anymore? I know I am. I am in love with Kody, or am I, anymore? I know I am. I am dreading my due dates, or am I, anymore? I KNOW I am. Life is just so complicated, lets hit the pause button and relax for a bit; or maybe rewind and re-live the good days. Regardless of the button pressed, life will happen sooner or later, lets just suck it up, stiffen up our upper lips, and hold our heads high towards the heavens.

"How can you trust others, when you don't trust yourself."

Start

of the week, looks promising. (: Today was pretty easy, not one class was too difficult. I will have a bunch of substitutes tomorrow because of the Jr. Class arena scheduling. I had another Doctors appointment today, my infection is gone, the skin is just inflamed, so thats good news for me. No real homework tonight, except working on the never-ending list of research papers due the second and third weeks of April. Tomorrow, Second period - in the computer lab, If I don't say it here, I will definitely forget. Oh, for my daily dosage of Kody in my bloggage, I loveee that boy. End of story.

Sunday

Okay so last night I got off work at 6:00 and then came home, finished up some laundry and went to see Shutter. It was amazingly scary but if your into scary movies, I highly recommend it. This morning I woke up at 8:22 and ate breakfast, did two (almost three) loads of laundry and did my response paper for English. Feeling quite accomplished. Work from 11:00-6:00 today at the wonderful world of Winn-Dixie then I've got to manage my time super wisely. Before 7:00 I want to finish my last load of laundry and finish my math homework. I'll eat shower and bed right before 10:00 and all that goes well ends well. Tomorrow, Monday, favorite day of the week. That means seeing Kody's face five days in a row :) but in reality it will be seven, because PRRROMMMMMM! is next Saturday and we will be out until after 12:00 am. (: I'm excited. I know, its very noticeable. I try to subside it, but In reality I can't. Its going to be the best night, ever. With the most amazing guy, ever. I lovee that boy. Despite everything, really, I do. Its less than an hour until Work, and here I am blogging, I really should go get ready. I might blog later, but don't hold me to it.

Saturday

brings another day of work. The usual 11-6 routine but hopefully going to have some plans afterwards with a few friends. I got my entire double-entry quote journal completed last night for English class, im super excited. I will complete the project next next Tuesday. Tonight my alternative would be starting my communist manifesto paper for World History. Sounds exciting huh. Well going to Kody's is out of the question for two reasons, one he has company and two I need to keep my distance. Bite my tongue, prom is in a week. I'm super excited. It, however, will be a long long longggg never ending week. Doctors appointment on Monday at 2:30 and Dentist appointment on Thursday at 2:30 (but I get to leave school at 12:00 because its in Lehigh) Then don't get me started on next Friday. All that goes well ends well, and after work, I will result to a blog for further information.

Its Been A While

It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

its been a while since I have blogged. Big blog ahead. Life in the past week has flown past me without any trace but that of sorrow and pressure. I turn around and I'm falling from grace, I revolve once again and I'm left picking myself up. A lot has gone on since the 21st of March. Lets take it day by day, that seems like my only option these days. The fears I have when I wake up are so real I want to crawl back into my warm blankets and bury myself in my fantasy.

Sunday, March 23rd - I didn't blog on Sunday because I was up from 4:00 AM until about 10:30 PM and that was by force due to my grandpas late arrival. I woke up, showered, put on my glamor face including a dress and heels and was off to Kody's for Sunrise Easter Sunday services at church and a long long Easter Sunday. It was pleasant, the whole family was their, and that includes both sets of grandparents, his great grandma, his aunt and her boyfriend and the immediate family/siblings. It was a ton of fun and it was another holiday spent with people I truly care about. Best Easter. (PS: not to give away Kody's secrets, but he turns into a freakishly cute and cranky 10 year old when hes tired)

Monday, March 24th - I didn't blog on Monday because even though there was no school I was busy getting all of my previously-procrastinated homework completed. Enough said.

Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday March 25th-27th - I didn't blog on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday because school has got the best of me. I really have to step it up, and I'm trying oh-so hard. School until 2:00 PM then homework until about 11:30 PM and after that, blogging is not the 'B' word on my mind, but rather 'BED' or 'BLANKET' (:

So today I blog in lack of the previous-almost week. I have been contemplating life to myself lately. I now realize more than ever that Happiness is not something sitting for me on a doormat. But something harder to find than a golden ticket wrapped around a Wonka bar or a gallon of gas for under $3.00. Life isn't going to give me any slack. I have to fight for myself, and when I am thrown down, I have to learn to pick myself up. I can no longer rely on another human being for anything. In reality, nobody cares. Its tough to face as a reality, but once you do, you will be so much better off. (if that makes sense) Its hard. All my life, I pray for someone like that, someone to at least pretend that they care, to give me a sense of security and happiness and I thank god, that I have finally found him. Its the light on a dark situation. I love Kody Peterson. More and more everyday. && Contrary to popular belief, there are no stages of love. It is what it is, you create its definition.

Church

tonight again with Kody and the family. (or family to be) Last night was amazing, the service was highly interesting and im really starting to get into the religion. Tonight should be anything but a disappointment, its good Friday. The rest of the weekend will be controlled chaos. Work tomorrow 11-6 then on Sunday from 8-3 (possibly 8-2) and Kody's afterwards. Monday is homework day, I plan to get it all done and out of the way, then back to school on Tuesday. Prom is exactly 15 days away, and I am over-the-top excited. Off to get ready, a long and fulfilled night ahead.

Wednesday

brings happiness and dread. this small 4x2 piece of decorative card stock holds the key to my status for the next two weeks, and hopefully a re-unison of passion will occur that will cause a landslide of a 360 to happen. Until then, time will only tell.

Algebra II chapter 7 test today, will go on my quarter three report card -rolls eyes-, im a point away from a C, and if she doesn't bump me up, im going to have a conniption. I think i did decent, at least a 50%. Also had a quarter test in Spanish II, Thought i did more than fairly well. My third and final test in World History is tomorrow. No homework tonight, just going to sit back and take it easy.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, although I cant really complain about today. Thursday, last day of the week and the start of a 4-day weekend due to a large fluffy mammal that goes around hopping with baskets of dyed eggs and chocolates. for those of you who must have it direct, easter. No plans tomorrow night, getting a jump start on my projects. Friday I'm going to Kodys basically all day. Saturday work 11-6 and no plans afterwards, going to take an early 8-3 shift on Sunday then go to Kody's again. Monday I will hopefully be hanging out with primeypants because its his birthday. (Maybe convince him to buy wedge shoes for prom, and pitch in for his dates ticket? <3 lol)

But anywho, busy busy the next couple of days. I pray everything goes smooth, karma FINALLY left me alone. Maybe I can sleep easy now.

This Comic

REEEEEKS primetime. No hard feelings sexypants, you can't help it. Everything in the universe was pre-determined, remember?

Boyfrannn

is simply great. No matter what happens between us we come out on top. Prom is less than three weeks away, it will be an amazing night with an amazing guy. So for those that are wondering, things are a-ok. They should be, because there isn't a reason for them to not be. I loveee Kody.

Inventory

at Winn-Dixie on Wednesday, so therefore every item in the entire back room must be accounted for. Greatttt, so im covered in sticky-residue from the masking tape and stray permanent marker litters my hands, arms and work uniform. Kody and I are good, no worries there...the arguments and such have ceased, and I couldn't be happier. I loveee that boy. Monday is tomorrow, the most dreaded day of the week, starting a normal schools schedule and for my lack of presence Friday, I have a lot to make up. Although it is a four-day week so I can grin and bear it. Tonight, simple, staying in...messing around on the copy, nothing unusual or exciting.

Saturday Edit

" It should be nothing but good-ness, but I have to watch my back..karma is out to get me. "
She turns the cold door handle as one last tear brushes her cheek and has every belief in her body that karma somehow exists. Tonight was a night that I won't ever forget. The piercing sound of that voice in my head will do everything but lull me to sleep. I am shocked, but none the less, I love him with everything in me.

Saturday

is going pretty great. Work from 12:00-6:00 at the wonderful world of Winn-Dixie, hopefully eating lunch with Daniel today between 3:00-3:30 then after work going to Kody's until like 11:00 and we are going out tonight to the movies. It should be nothing but good-ness, but I have to watch my back..karma is out to get me. Won't be blogging any further today, time just has the best of me. One last bit, last night had me on the floor in tears. Some people just have a great and unique sense of humor.

School

Today? No thanks. I actually overslept as well as everyone else in the house so by the time im up its 8:00 and to get ready and out of here would be another hour or so. Therefore my grandpa just said screw it, stay home. After a week of FCAT, it sounded good to me. I stayed in bed until 10:00 then we went to run all my errands. Got shoes for prom, and booked my appointments. Getting all my plans down on paper so I don't forget anything. Its been an easy-peasy day and I can't complain. Well I guess I can, I didn't get to see Kody today, but we are going out tomorrow night to see 10,000 BC, so its okay. I love that boy so much, its ridiculous. Tonight I plan on getting everything done, homework and such. Until then ~

Whoa

take a step back and look at yourself. What have you done. You hear crickets off in the distance, for merely nothing you have actually done. (: FCAT is O-V-E-R!!! It is so exciting, like you don't even know. School today was great. National Geographic has a WHOLE new meaning and Brounson is going to adopt, because he finally realized he doesn't have a baby. Mr. Brounson is oddly enough the closest thing to a father-figure in my life. But not in a weird way, assured. Today, doing a load of laundry and thats it, no thanks on anything else. Had Mcdonalds [told primetime I would, but he denied my skills] and were having Long John sloppy fish for dinner. I can eat what I want, because I can't try out for the cheer leading team because my grandparents are irrational. Things right now, in my life, are at a standstill, they are neutral. I wont utter a single complaint either because things could take a turn for the worse, but some people in my life wouldn't let that happen<3

Payday

Oh what a joy, every Tuesday of the week seems to be another paycheck disappointment. Roughly sixty this week, but $25.00 of it goes towards prom transportation. Had to pay my grandparents back and buy stuff for dinner, I'm left with four dollars. I am slowly getting things paid off. I need $100.00 for Kody's parents, and $100.00 for the rest of my prom expenses. With three paychecks left before prom, It is going to be tight. No more silly expenses for the next month.

FCAT kickoff today, was the writing portion. Honestly, no biggie, it was fairly easy. Tomorrow is the math, and my brain will be F R I E D afterwards. Then after school its the last Wednesday at church with Kody and the family. Not too sad, because I can still go to his house on Wednesdays as long as I keep the church-ending on the down low. theres always going to be an equal balance of good and bad this week. Except Thursday, NRT math and reading in one day, then nothing. Friday I am planning on going to Ginaaaaas then Saturday after work I will be going out with Kody to see 10,000 BC. [Hopefully it will be better than Be Kind Rewind.] He is a great driver, and it is such an unexplainable feeling to be sitting in the passengers seat with him to my left. It is a sense of security, maturity, and freedom. No worries.

His parents are absolutely the best. I feel like they really trust us, and that is such a great feeling. I'm a good kid, I always have been and yet nobody has ever given me trust due to my age and "hormones", but nobody cares to realize im not stupid. I make my own decisions, and wise ones at that. I am so lucky to have him, and his parents as well, its nice to know someone cares. (: I loveee that boy.

Wednesday = best day of the week, so I want to go to sleep, like now.

Monday

Wasn't as marvelous as it could have been. But no day this week can be as bad as tomorrow. Its the kickoff for the most important series of tests I will take to this day. FCAT reading tomorrow, then FCAT math on Wednesday, then NRT reading and math on Thursday. Friday is one of those do-nothing days so it will be a great end to a week. Wednesday is an even medium, last Wednesday at church with Kody, (but my grandparents don't know that), so if i keep it on the down low I might be able to keep seeing him on Wednesdays. Things are looking hopeful and I am trying to be as optimistic as possible in the weeks to come. Tomorrow, March 11th, is the three month mark for my amazingly wonderful boyfriend and I. The best three months of my life, and a month from now, it will be four. Not only four, but by this time, prom would have passed and I know it will be an unforgettable night.

Boyfriend

he is absolutely amazing.
I love him so so so much,
you couldn't even know...

Tonight & Today

tossing and turning. Closely watching the flicker of my new direct-tv power light. Sleep is far from what I'm going to receive. Today work 10-5 and I plan on going to Kody's afterwards, if at all possible. Tomorrow I will probably call off work, I am drained, I am tired, I am scared.

My

eyes are open. you have my undivided attention. I understand completely, I know where wrong turns were made. Time will heal my wounds and my heart will be open to voice. I love you, no matter what happens. Through thick and thin. Its not just a four-letter word it is a promise. Time will heal everything. This is just a breather. Note to self: remain calm.

Friday Again

and this week is finally over. it feels as though this week has in all reality been at least 10 days long. The weekend looks hopeful. This week was one of the roughest, but I am strong, and I can overcome anything thrown at me. Tonight, fast food for dinner, thats always tasty [/sarcasm] then homework for the remainder. Tomorrow morning, bright and early work from 11-6, but im going to ask for 10-5 so I can go to Kody's afterwards. Sundays the same, minus Kody's house. Thats about it, FCAT next week. no pressure, this is just the most important test of my life so far. I don't graduate if I pass, no pressure, right?

Middle

of the week. Wednesday again. Church tonight should be fun and different, yet an eye opener. Kids are serving. I'm going to Kody's early, I need to get out of this house. Wont be home all night, tomorrows blog pends crucial details. g'night

You Know

you can't lie to me. or if you think you can, you can only do so for so long. I know everything, every move that is made in life's game of chess. If I find out whats stirring in my mind to be accurate, it will be your not only first, but last time aswell. You can bet your bottom dollar on that. You do what you want, but once im gone, baby i'm gone.

Today was so-so. I really just don't have it in me. From first to about fifth period I was semi awake but lost in thought and the rest of the day was a blur. I have minimal homework, for I will be copying the math from someone beforehand tomorrow. My plans went to shit, I guess I am staying in for the night. I need some sleep, my mind is restless, and I need to ease it before it goes insane.

Monday

morning, sun is shining. That it is, no more cold weather -does a dance- and no more Winn-Dixie, for six days that is. So school today was bleh, I really miss Primetime a lot. I wish he would a) stop being sick and b) stop getting everyone else sick. Easy-come, easy-go day. Favorite day of the week, yet least favorite week of the month. Put one and two together, and as of tomorrow I won't feel up to doing anything. What can you do, it's that time of month again, unfortunately. Today and Tonight should go pretty smooth. Algebra II homework, a response paper for English and I really should finish my Spanish project. Shower, dinner and bed. The works.

Yikes

Okay so after work on Sunday, nothing went as planned. I was honestly B E A T. I finished up my homework and crashed. So on to my amazing Saturday night, for backtracking is a must. I get off of work at 4:00 and find myself at Kody's shortly afterwards. He got his license Saturday and was eager to get on the road. His family piled in the mini-van, driven by his amazing soccer-mom dad. They shut the doors. Kody tells me to follow him and we pile in an '03 mustang and Kody's got the keys. I was super exited, probably as excited as a toddler in Toys-R-Us. So we follow the rest of the family to Uno, a Chicago grill that has amazing food. I have never in my life had to eat pizza with not one, but two utensils. After dinner Kody and I went out separate ways from the rest of the family that was headed home and we were off to a night alone. We drove to AMC theaters and saw a movie. Although the movie (Be Kind Rewind) was the most boring movie ever, it didn't even matter. It was our first official date as a couple and nothing could have broken my happiness. Kody is an amazing driver, but an even more Amazing Boyfriend.

Ending

my weekend, with a 7 hour work shift. Winn-Dixie from 11am to 6pm, then rushing home to shower, do laundry, my algebra homework, my Spanish homework and project, and anything else I can find that needs to be done. I would make this more thoughtful, or at least have a point but I'm crunched for time, so I will blog later, and give details on my AMAZING saturday night with Kody<3

Saturday

is depressing. well today is an exception. Work from 11-4 (yeah, see how I manage that) then to Kody's hopefully around 5. leaving at 9:30ish and that is the highlight of my weekend. I love that boyyyyy, and I hate winndixie. Toss a coin, go figure.

TGIF

or is it really. :( Why be so thankful if you've got a busy weekend like I presume I do. If I could plan everything in life, I would benefit to a great unknown extent. If I could foresee the future and know that everything really would be okay, my nerves could rest easy. Tonight I'm probably going to take a nap and do some laundry, as well as my English GUM (grammar usage & mechanics) workpages, math homework, chemistry and Spanish. [pretty much all my homework will get done tonight] and top it off with a shower and bed. Tomorrow, waking up at seven. getting ready for work but actually going to pick up my prom dress, then off to work until 5. then off to Kody's until 9:30ish. Sunday brings the usual 11-6 with the Sunday rituals afterwards. Busy and boring, except the Kody part. For all I know... well, thats another story, another time, another blog.

Thrilling

Thursday. I think the hell not. So I assume I had woken up at 5:00am as the annoying sound of my phone alarm chimed in my ears. I got up, peed and went back into my warm sea of blankets. Great, now I'm woken up for a second time by my grandparents frantic annoying voices that are absolutley piercing. whats worse is they were telling me it was "6:10 am", the time I'm normally doing some last minute primping the bathroom; and there I was, death warmed over in my bed. I thought about not going but today was going to be such a filled and busy day I seriously couldn't miss it. I almost blew a cap second period, tomorrow I'm giving this little skank a piece of my mind and hopefully not more than that... but she needs to learn to keep her hands off of MY Boyfriend Fiance. Husband. So with that off my chest...

We had a test sixth period and I really scrambled at the last minute to get all of my unit-work together but I managed everything just on time and I presume I did fairly well on the test. Then I had to stay after school to take a test in Algebra II I had missed from Tuesday when I called it quits and slept until noon. I BSed it, and I will be happy with a 60ish. My friend Natalia came over and we watched American Pie: Beta House, then ate an amazing dinner that I can relive tomorrow for lunch, only slightly aged.

The agenda for tonight? Some minor math homework, 13 problems, and some history homework as well. should only take a total of an hour, so until 8 I'm going to put it off. Friday tomorrow, already, I'm excited... and then I can get unexcited tomorrow afternoon because Saturday morning brings a hectic-ness filled with waking up at 6am to retrieve my altered/tailored prom dress, then rush to my house and get ready for work, and a 75% chance that I will be at Kody's afterwards. Eh life is busy right now, but I can handle it. I'm Megan, this is my blog...and a daily reminder, that I love Kody. (:

Wednesday Take Two

Scratch that. Going to church tonight with The boyfrannn and his lovely parents/siblings.
Yeah it'll be a rough night. I still have all that homework to do...
but no worries its worth it. it lets me know how much I can pack on my plate before feeding the dog my leftovers. I should manage a bedtime of 12 am-ish.
and thats estimating early.

Wednesday

really...? already...? Well isn't this just bliss. I feel like the past three days have swept me off my own two feet and I have gotten nothing accomplished, so to speak. So its two thirty-six post meridian and where do I fall?

Chamber of Commerce Website
Spanish Powerpoint Presentation
Chemistry Mole Conversions WKSHT
Chemistry Review WKSHT
Chemistry Index Card
World History 2/26 & 2/27

I have a test tomorrow 6th period in (take a guess from above) Chemistry honors. I'm pretty confident that it'll get a B+ ~ A. Somewhere in there. Then I have to stay after school to make up an algebra quiz that I'll be lucky if I get a 60 on. So tomorrow looks fun and full of learning. Somebody please, gag me with a spoon.

Today however, on a brighter note, was actually quite pleasant. Kody almost ruined it for me and tried to play the "I don't feel well I am not going to school" trick when curiosity kicked in at 7:01 regarding his presence upstairs in M203 M201 with the rest of us. Today would have been a waste without him (: but he was there, jokes on me. I love that boyyyyy.

There are some people I just couldn't live without, including Kody the list also consists of Prime, Shay, Gina, Michelle, Zach & Amanda. They complete me.

Off to my massive pile of knowledge

Physically

I just can't be mad at more than one person at a time. I have tried, but you only live life once, and its wayyyy to short to hate/dislike or get angry. I love her, she loves me, we both know it, so now we can stop avoiding the truth. We also both know who I can be mad at, hands down, under any circumstance. People will be people, we are only human. humans make mistakes.

Gina

Don't think I forgot about your birthday bby. Your my best girl-friend and I wouldn't want to miss it for the world but unfortunately someone decided to punish me, and punish my uvula. Have a great/amazing/wonderful birthday. Your fifteen now! -does a dance-

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun...Enjoy the trip.

Yikes

No school, no thank you. I'm sickerr than I was! Just, when I thought I was getting better too. So I'm going to do all my homework now, get it out of the way, wait for my lovesss to get home. Today blows, but it IS paycheck day -dances-, so add "going to winn-dixie" on my list of to-do things.

School

Monday, actually is my favorite day of the week. Its a refresh from an either really-good or really-bad weekend and it gives you the opportunity to set new goals for yourself as well as see some faces you probably haven't in the last 48 hours. (aka Kody's♥) Despite being sick and having to wake up at 5:00 AM, the day wasn't too bad. Yeah some people got under my skin a tad bit but people will be people. Ready to go through a rundown of the school-day?

Okay, we should start with first period, which is web design, which in all reality we shouldnt start with because im still not technically awake. Anywho, chamber of commerce website, definitly buggin the crud out of me. Even if I do finish it, Kody's website blows mine out of the ballpark. Second period, television production, favorite class of the day. Favorite teacher ever. Any who, I got a 411 on how to use Adobe Encore and it seems like a really cool program. Third we had a sub so I went back to tv pro to hang out. Fourth and fifth are dumb, English II honors and algebra II honors... lets precede to my big accomplishment of the day:
*cue accomplishment music*

sixth period, chemistry honors. we have approximately 40 minutes to do a "pop-lab" kinda like a pop quiz but in a lab-doing form. It was ridiculously hard and my partner, Michelle and I KNEW we wouldn't finish.. but (dun dun dun!) I got all the calculations done and then we just had to rush to put our chemical formulas in our cups. Yeah trying to get 43.6 of a substance with a non-steady hand is nervewracking but eh, I got it under control. We finished with about 30 seconds to spare, but when that A glimmers oh-so brightly on my grades paycheck this Friday, I won't be complaining.

Mmkay I think my day ends there. My day ends when my brain lets me know its done. We started something stupid in 7th period, World history honors, with Jews and Christians, and the homework assignment is irrational... just plain bogus.

Daniel (aka prime, primetime, primey, primeypants, primetime mcsexy pants, sexy pants) is the coolest bestfriend ever. I'm glad hes in my life (:

DubbleBubble692 (6:32:42 PM): any feedback?
Primetime (6:32:59 PM): not really
Primetime (6:33:04 PM): put more me in there

Homework is in my near future.
-Spanish Worksheet
-Algebra Review
-History Questions

and just a daily reminder, Megan lovessss Kody to the moon and back.
(a couple times.)

Other Blogs

These blogs might be of some interest;
my boyfriend's, best guy friend's and best girl friend's.

Kody: http://www.kpkody.blogspot.com/
Daniel: http://dansblag.blogspot.com/
Gina: http://itsnottemporary.blogspot.com/

they are the besttt.

Semi-Sick Sunday

And unfortunately, it continues. Sick sick sick still. Sunday, looks good though. I didn't go to work today, and I'm highly ecstatic. School tomorrow, and I get to see Kodyyyyyy -does a dance-. Seriously, weekends are dreadful when he isn't in them. I guess ima stay in today and finish up some homework. I am starting to think the massive pile never ends. Algebra and English, but most certainly NOT in that order.

I loveeee that boy. And I love getting out of work. I wish I was sick more often. No fever, no coughing/puking. Really the only thing now is my throat is swollen. So that means it doesn't really interfere with anything. On to homework....

Saturday

yeah so today already blows big time. It's a scary feeling to wake up, try to breathe through your mouth, and choke yourself. My throat is swollen to no end and im still running a high fever. Someone make it stop! Work from 11-6, which means i have roughly 2 hours to get ready for hell. I wish yesterday I would have called off, but I need the money. I will, probably come home early though. maybe at 4 or 5. I dont know, im just mad and sick, sick and mad.

Photoshop CS3

This program is a lifesaver. The possibilities are endless, I could honestly spend twenty-four hours, seven days a week with this program. I could marry this program, but lets not get carried away. This program will help my future a great deal, and I can do things with this program you wouldn't believeeee. If you don't have it/have never used it, http://www.adobe.com, you can download the 30-day trial. Its a lot to digest so maybe starting with some tutorials would be a good idea: http://www.tutorialized.com. The best site for tutorials. Point? Photoshop CS3 equals love. Hands down.

Sick Weekend

I don't know why I always feel like this, its a roulette game with my insides. Its a burning sensation over my whole body, a temperature rise unbearable. A breath-taking gruesome experience. I'm sick, do I have to say much more? Fever of 102, sore throat and most. def nausea/dizziness. Where did this come from? What does it want from me and my immune system? Please go away.. I have such a busy weekend ahead of me and I can't tolerate completing my many tasks with this cold hanging over me. Saturday will be blah, working from 11-6 but I have to wake up at 6 to do all my chores.

After work, my friend Natalia is coming over so we can, (for the second time) write a gazillion page paper on Gandhi for World History Honors. She should leave about 9ish or so, then I'm hitting the bed hard. Same Deal Sunday, but I've gotta get all my homework done. Paychecks are Friday, I'm kinda nervous, sick to my stomach nervous. Algebra II honors sucks, don't ever take it, avoid it at all costs. So basically, I'm going to have a sick weekend, and not sick in a good way. On a brighter note? I love kody :)

That Boy

I never thought I would feel as though a piece of me is dwelling in another persons body. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some weird beginning of a horror film or surgery story, no.. this is love. I'm talking about fate here - when feelings are so powerful it's as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to someone who can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams. That boy is my everything. The reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I never give up or lose faith, and the reason I can get by. I love that boy like you wouldn't believe. 12-11-2007, and forever. KJP&MLB.

People

The human mind works in mysterious ways, and the question lingering on my mind is WHY can we just all get along? To merely think that a friend and I had a conversation regarding the opposite of the matter this morning... looks like at this point there is no going back. I feel like this used to be my favorite class, that if I was going to really drag myself out of bed at 5:00 in the morning, this was my reason; now I have more than a few doubts. The past three weeks from 8:00-9:00 I feel as though I'm in hell and honestly, if you can't take the heat...get out of the oven, I'm getting the feeling I should just stay away from the entire kitchen. Its tough when a group of people you truly care about turn backs on each other. Some people need to get over themselves, is it jealousy? Or maybe some of us need to go repeat the third grade. For now, I'm stepping out of it, wiping my hands of it, and going to digest it piece-by-piece.